Nobody else can.”
― Michael A. Singer
In my studies, we have learned about a model called the Victim Triangle. Creators, David Hartman and Diane Zimberoff use this model in their Heart Centered work. It is a very powerful and life transforming tool. In the Victim Triangle model we see the energy of the 'Victim'- life is happening to me, I am helpless to change. Another player in this triangle is the energy of the 'Persecutor'- How dare you do that to me, who do they think they are, can you believe the nerve? And then the final player is the energy of the 'Rescuer"- I know what is better for them than they do, I need to save others in order to prove my worth.
Take a deep breath my friends and maybe a sip of your coffee! We have all participated in this triangle at some point in our lives. As I have moved through my own personal work I have seen just how imperative it is to participate in the healing of these energies in your personal relationships. The Victim Triangle energy lives in our third chakra, or solar plexus- the home of our personal power. If you think of it in these terms, how powerful are you when you are in victim mode, persecutor mode, or rescuer mode?
This exercise introduced by my coach Michael is a wonderful tool to help pull you out of victim consciousness. These are the moments when you begin blaming others for the narrative of your life. Here it goes.
- You are 100% responsible for your experiences!
- If ______________________, then I wouldn't be so __________________.
- ie.- If my boss wasn't such an asshole, then I wouldn't be so angry and upset.
- Now you are going to strike out the beginning of the sentence and you are left with, "I wouldn't be so angry and upset." If you are doing this exercise on your own, perhaps record it on your phone so you don't have to spend the time thinking and can just be in the experience and then play it back for yourself to see what you come up with.
- With rapid fire thinking and saying this OUTLOUD, you are going to come up with 6-10 endings for your remaining sentence.
- I wouldn't be so angry and upset if I stopped trying to control my boss.
- I wouldn't be so angry and upset if I extend love to myself.
- I wouldn't be so angry and upset if I was more self aware than other aware.
- I wouldn't be so angry and upset if I focused on my potentials rather than my weaknesses.
This is a great activity to do whenever you feel like someone else is holding responsibility for the unfoldment of your life. My friends take this activity into your life with compassion and a willingness to grow your curiosity. How does it benefit you to be the victim? How does it benefit you to blame others? How does it benefit you to rescue? We learn patterns and ways of being in childhood, so have patience with the unfoldment of your process. Show up. Be brave. Cultivate courage. Practice love. Learn forgiveness. Just love. Take back responsibility for the experiences of your life.
May You Sweetly Seek:)