Happy Tuesday beautiful hearts!  Today I want to dive into and explore brain wave states.  Up until my coaching class, I had only vaguely heard of brain waves and I certainly didn't understand the importance of them.  By reading the work of Anna Wise, I was able to understand that brain waves can be measured in amplitude as well as in frequency.  Today I want to dive into these four brain wave frequencies; Beta, Alpha, Theta, and Delta.  

Here's my elementary understanding of them at this point.  If you are looking for a storehouse of research, checkout the work of Anna Wise.  

​Our brain is electrically charged and neurons are constantly firing and wiring.  Did you ever wonder why you are prone to having the same thoughts over and over again?  (This gets into another amazing concept, neural plasticity).  In one of the anatomy trainings I attended, the presenter shared that, "The neurons that wire together fire together."  As these electrical currents travel throughout our brain, they do so in wave like patterns.   Our mind is able to regulate these patterns.  As we measure the brain wave states, scientists have identified these four frequencies:

1. Beta- This is the state we live in.   We might identify this state when we are in our monkey mind, or wrapped up in our to-do lists.  In this state we are constantly alert.  As humans we spend most of our time here, and according to Wise, "If we did not have this state, we would not be able to function in the outside world."  

2. Alpha- This state is where we have daydreams, fantasies, and it becomes a space of focused intention.  According to the work of Wise, this state links the conscious with the subconscious mind.    

3. Theta- This is the subconscious state.  This is the frequency in which the experience of meditation happens.  Wise highlights that, "Theta also contains the storehouse of creative inspiration and is where you often have your spiritual connection."  

4. Delta- These brainwaves are identified as your sleep states as well as the unconscious mind.  Wise highlights that these waves, " provide intuition, empathetic attunement, and instinctual insight."

I'm so excited to learn more about accessing these frequency states!  Be sure to check out Anna Wise's website as well as her books, The Awakened Mind and The High Performance Mind.  

May You Sweetly Seek:)
In Gratitude, 
Sarah 

Happy Memorial Day beautiful hearts!  Today and everyday may we give thanks for our many freedoms.  May we honor those who have given their lives to protect our freedoms and may we in turn live our lives in such a way that we continually come from a space of gratitude.  

As I decorated family members graves with flowers over the weekend,  I couldn't help but notice the palette of red, white and blue waving in the steamy heat of the day.  I paused multiple times in reverence for the men and women who served our country, and then thought of all of those who still serve.  I felt tremendous pride as I stopped at my grandfathers grave, and my great-uncle's grave.  These men that I love so much spent portions of their lives in defense of our country.  They sacrificed time with their wives and kids.  Their lives ever impacted from the sights and sounds of war.  

As we remember the sacrifices of our men and women serving this blessed country, lest we forgot our duty- to truly live.   Whatever the 'fight' is on our lives, may we remember that freedom is dancing right around the corner.  As we hold steadfast to the journey, may we have the courage to lean in and live.  Live because that is the best tribute to those who have been lost protecting our freedoms.

Today and everyday, may we bow our heads in gratitude, and extend love to those who have been lost in the battlefields of war and destruction.  Shanti, Shanti, Shanti...Peace, Peace, and more peace.  

May You Sweetly Seek:)
In Gratitude, 
Sarah 

Happy Thursday beautiful hearts!  Today I want to talk about relationships.  Over the weekend I attended a training in which we explored relationships.  In our time together we identified clues about relationship addiction, sex addiction, people addictions, love addicts, and so on.  We began asking ourselves rich and meaningful questions:  

• Am I in love with the idea of being in love?
• Do I rely on others to inform me if I am okay in my relationships?
• Am I grounded in the idea of romance?
• Am I trapped in addictive thinking- all or nothing?
• What does it mean to be intimate with 'Self?'
• Am I willing to be vulnerable?

One of the key researchers in the field of relationships is John M. Gottman.  Gottman has dedicated the last 40+ years of his life to relationship work.  In one of his groundbreaking books, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, he backs his findings with research that was collected in his Seattle, "Love Lab."  In this "Love Lab" he studied couples and within 5 minutes was able to predict divorce with 91% accuracy.  

His book debunks the myths surrounding relationship troubles, he identifies how a couple is able to argue, he predicts divorce probability, he emphasizes that marriage is based on deep friendship, and he identifies the seven principles for making a marriage work.  

As we awaken to the richness of the relationships in our lives, some of our greatest work is done in conjunction with the partners in our lives.  The souls that we chose to be in relationship with in large part become a mirror for us.  We notice our inner child, our shadow parts, our unhealed hearts.  It is the wounded child who thinks in black in white-all or nothing thought.  When we are triggered in relationship, it is often our unhealed child that comes to the surface.  Our biological age crumbles as this unhealed child rises in protest, hurt, despair or disbelief.   As adults perhaps we use certain behaviors to avoid feelings of intimacy- we stuff down our feelings with food, we fill our schedules with commitments so that we don't have to be alone, we abuse our bodies with exercise, we become addicted to sex, and we fill our shopping carts with purchases that give us an instant high.  

As we get in touch with the intimate nature of our own hearts we begin to create intimacy in the world around us.  ​We notice patterns of behavior that either serve us or cause us to suffer.  Over this past weekend my teachers again taught our group, "As you create an intimate relationship with self, you can be intimate with others.  Too often we settle for a fast food type of relationship."  

Because we are alive, we have such room for growth and exploration in the relationship arena.  Bottom line, 'Are you willing to do your work if you notice any inconsistencies or in-congruencies in your life?'  We ALL have work to do:).

Today and everyday I am thankful for all of the relationship experiences that have caused my heart to crack wide open- open to a deeper reserve of love- open to a deeper level of understanding- open to a much more profound cavern of intimacy.  I recognize that everyday I have an opportunity to create a more intimate relationship with 'Self' and the Divine- and as I do this, I cultivate deeper relationships in my life.  

What's one thing you can do today to become more intimate in your relationship with "Self?"

May You Sweetly Seek:)
In Gratitude, 
Sarah 

Happy Wednesday loves!  Over the weekend, one of my teachers asked our group a very profound question, "How do you leave?"  As I sat in energy of our circle I scanned the room and began experiencing how I leave.  I felt myself holding my breath.  I noticed my thoughts circling a racetrack of future what if's.  I heard my tummy gurgling.  I felt some tears in my eyes.  I also noticed a flutter of excitement in my heart as I wondered how we might connect in new ways.  

We leave jobs, relationships, situations, homes, continents, our bodies and our minds.  We jump ship when things get sticky, when our shadows show up, when love gets to loud, when fear gets too regular and when the thought of staying becomes as intense as a bolder perched atop our chest.  We enter desert periods where we must turn inward.  We climb mountains only to reach the summit and see all of the other summits waiting for us.  We have families we leave so that we can create a richer life for them.  We all have seasons of leaving, and it is in these seasons that some of our richest explorations occurs.  

As I have been sitting with this question my curiosity has peaked as I begin thinking about how I leave.  I have never been one for good-byes. So very often I notice myself disconnecting my energy long before I find any words to express the maze of emotions that I am feeling.  

Our way of leaving becomes a vitally important clue towards how we experience life.  In the midst of the seasons of your life, how do you show up even though you know that you will soon be leaving certain circles and situations?  Do you experience yourself clinging to the familiar, or reaching out your palms in surrender for what is to come?  

As you wander through the pages of your life may curiosity help you develop a richer relationship to this natural impulse of living.  May you repeatedly question,  "How do you leave?..."

May You Sweetly Seek:)
In Gratitude, 
​Sarah 

Happy Tuesday beautiful hearts!  Today I want to dive deeper into the world of Spiritual bypassing.  This phrase was first formulated by psychologist John Welwood back in 1984.  According to Robert Augustus Masters, "It is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs."  

As we dive deeper into the meaning behind this phrase we are asked to look directly into our hearts and lives and notice how we are intolerant of the 'work' required to 
become conscious beings.  This shadow side of spirituality materializes in many ways.  Masters identifies the shadow pieces as, "exaggerated detachment, emotional numbing and repression, overemphasis on the positive, anger-phobia, blind or overly tolerant compassion, weak or porous boundaries, debilitating judgment about one's negativity or shadow elements, and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being."  

Take a breath my friends!  Over the past two years I have been engaged in noticing my own spiritual bypassing escape routes!  I for sure can raise both my hands and acknowledge how I have participated in these events rather than leaning into my conversation with life.  In short, my teachers have taught me that spiritual bypassing is a lack of grounding.  In essence we abandon ship in the hopes that we won't have to feel the magnitude of our experiences.  We paste on our frozen smiles and quote positive thinkers, we stuff our anger into a quart of ice cream, we continue to chase people to fill our empty spaces, and the laundry list of behaviors goes on and on.  

Spiritual bypassing might sound a little something like, "Just pray about it!" "Don't worry about it, you're a great person."  "Everything will work out for you, I know you believe."  These phrases often take us out of the intensity of our emotional experiences and in essence minimize the impact that life is having on us.  We begin shaming ourselves for feeling anger and suppressing it.  We gloss over our hurts and refuse to let ourselves get real with the cavern of emotions living just behind our hearts.  We lose sight that as spiritual beings we are continually being called to bring our darkness into the light.  

The best advice that my teachers have shared is, "GET REAL!"  As you grow your container of compassion, understanding, wisdom, authenticity, and love, you begin to embody the human and emotional experiences of living.  Victor Frankl offers us insight into this container as he so brilliantly stated, "What gives light must endure burning."   This heat leaves us raw, tattered, real, and perhaps shaking to our very core.  It becomes our journey to create a more intimate landscape with the happenings of our lives. 

The work of Masters suggests that, "Spiritual bypassing distances us not only from our pain and difficult personal issues but also from our own authentic spirituality, stranding us in a metaphysical limbo, a zone of exaggerated gentleness, niceness, and superficiality."

I could go on and on about this topic, but in an effort to keep things short and sweet, I just wanted to introduce you to this concept that has continually been of great assistance in my own personal growth work.   May you take in what jives with you and leave the rest.  

May You Sweetly Seek:)
In Gratitude, 
​Sarah 

"We are all carrying around repressed pain, terror, shame and rage energy from our childhood, whether it was twenty years ago or fifty years ago.  We have this grief energy within us even if we came from a relatively healthy family, because this society is emotionally dishonest and dysfunctional. When someone 'pushes your buttons,' he/she is activating that stored, pressurized grief energy.  She/he is gouging the old wounds, and all of the newer wounds that are piled on top of those original wound by repeating behavior patterns."
~Co-dependence:  The Dance of Wounded Souls

Romantic Relationships~ The Greatest Arenas for Spiritual and Emotional Growth
By: Robert Burney
​
Chapter 7- Come Here, Go Away
"boring and incredibly painful repeating patterns"

"As long as we haven't healed our childhood wounds then there are a lot more than two people involved in our relationships.  There may only be two people in the room-but the room is also full of the ghosts of all of our past emotional wounds.  Until we start clearing our emotional process of the buttons/triggers that throw us into the past, we are not capable of being honest in the now.  When we react in the now out of old wounds and old tapes we are being emotionally dishonest with ourselves and our partners. 

The way one dynamic in a dysfunctional relationship works is in a 'come here'- 'go away' cycle.  When one person is available the other tends to pull away.  If the first person becomes unavailable the other comes back and pleads to be let back in.  When the first becomes available again then the other eventually starts pulling away again.  It happens because our relationship with self is not healed.  As long as I don't love myself then there must be something wrong with someone who loves me- and if someone doesn't love me then I have to prove I am worthy by winning that person back.  On some level we are tying to earn the love of our unavailable parent(s) to prove to ourselves that we are worthy and lovable.  

What is normal and natural in many romantic relationships in this society is for a person whose primary fear is abandonment to get involved with someone whose primary fear is being smothered/losing self.  The person with the abandonment fears reacts to shows of independence on the part of the other as if the other were abandoning them.  That causes them to become more needs and clinging- which causes the other person to pull away- which causes the first person to cling more- which causes the other to pull away more.  Eventually the person with the abandonment fears gets angry and disgusted and pulls back into themselves- which to the other makes it safe to come back and plead to be let back in.  And after a short honeymoon period the dance can start all over again..."

Happy Friday beautiful hearts!  I simply adore this sentiment!  As you prepare for your weekend, perhaps you make this list for yourself!  What truly sets your heart on fire?  Compare your lists and be willing to courageously step to the edge of your comfort zone so that you can step into the power of being in true alignment with the awesomeness of your essence!  I hope this list inspires you towards your greatness!  And in case no one told you today...you deserve every kind, wonderful, and amazing joy to come your way!  

Have a super blessed weekend!
May You Sweetly Seek:)
In Gratitude, 
​Sarah 

Happy Thursday beautiful hearts!  A favorite book of mine is by Anodea Judith entitled Wheels of Light.  As I read her words I become mesmerized in an attempt to more deeply connect to my chakras or energy systems that are alive and well within each one of us.  Carol Myss refers to these 7 energy centers as 'computer programs' that warehouse our life experiences.  Today I want to explore the second chakra.  As Judith so beautifully states, "Where the first chakra seeks to hold on and create structure, the second chakra's purpose is to let go and create flow." What would it look like for you to experience more flow in your life?  

I had the opportunity to sub a spiritual flow class at the Yoga studio last weekend and I themed my class around this chakra.  As I encouraged the Yogi's to move through the postures I asked them to connect with the ebb and flow of emotions that were present within their bodies.  Each emotion that we experience flows into the next.  Emotions are constantly in a flow state.  According to the research of Judith, "Emotions (from the Latin movers 'to move' and e meaning 'out') promote the evolution of consciousness through the body."  

In this flow state we experience the embodiment of the second chakra according to the work of Judith, "We long to unite, to overcome our separateness, to reach out and grow.  These are all aspects of consciousness at the second chakra- all of which induce change....Without change, there is no growth, no movement, and no life.  Consciousness thrives on change."  

How would your life move in a more fluid manner if you adopted the energy of the second chakra?  What would you be willing to accomplish?  Can you unite with the energy of change and emerge transformed?  

The energy of our sexuality is also contained within this chakra.  Judith goes onto say that our sexuality is a sacred ritual union, "An expansive movement of life force, it is the dance that balances, restores, renews, reproduces.  It is the production ground of all new life- and in that sense- of the future."  She goes onto elaborate that in our culture we tend to repress or exploit this natural pleasure.  As we tap into the energy of this chakra, we also begin to notice our relationship to our own sexuality. 

As Judith concludes her research on sexuality, she speaks of nurturance.  "Nurturance is the final summation of sexuality and a fundamental need of the body, the mind and the soul.  Nurturance means caring for, feeding with energy, love and touch."  Her work offers a museum of exploration within the constructs of our lives.  

We were cosmically designed to feel, to change, to express, to experience, and to nurture.  We were designed to expand and grow, to change and evolve, to tenderly touch and experience the sweetness of life.  Our fears challenge us to change and move.  Our belief systems become the critical moment- we vulnerably lean into this chakra and begin a lifelong dialogue.  This dialogue requests that change be ever present and that we would move like water, every flowing towards the sweetness of life.  

It is in this chakra that we experience guilt.  Guilt over our growth periods.  Guilt that we have changed.  Guilt over our sexuality.  Guilt over experiencing pleasure.  As we do our personal work and inhabit this chakra we are able to own our creativity, sexuality, and the fluidity of our lives.   At the end of the day, may we affirm, " I am enough."

May You Sweetly Seek:)
In gratitude, 
​Sarah 

“Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away... and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast.... be happy about your growth, in which of course you can't take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don't torment them with your doubts and don't frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn't be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn't necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust.... and don't expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.” 
― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet