Moving through the Yin practice I found my edges quickly. After moving all day, it seemed almost impossible to settle into my body, into my breath. My mind was chattering, my body fidgeting, and I could feel a river of emotion just below the surface. This undercurrent of emotion left me feeling raw and vulnerable. Maybe this was why I felt so unsettled as my practice began.
I settled into Saddle Pose (Supta Virasana) supporting myself with a bolster. Feeling my heart exposed I began noticing the physical sensations of the posture; the lengthening of my quads, the opening of my heart, and the curve in my low back. My mind flashed like a movie screen, and as I watched it, I heard the words of the teacher, "Remember, it doesn't matter how deep into a posture you go-what does matter is who you are when you get there." Her words pierced my heart. All of the struggle I had surmounted getting into this posture seemed fruitless as I began to notice who I was in this posture. This shape that my body occupied was simply another tool of exploration. I noticed the story I kept telling myself...the bargaining of hanging on for a few more breaths...the longing to be somewhere other than where I was. This edge of awareness brought me back into the present. Letting go of my rational mind, I allowed myself to drift down into my heart. This shift into my heart space allowed me to move into softness.
Showing up means allowing all parts of yourself...not judging...not being critical, but noticing with a compassionate heart how you arrived in your present state. For me the physical practice of yoga can bring challenge and strength. The duality of awareness appears as I find my edge physically, mentally, emotionally. I enjoy playing with this concept off of the mat as well.
It is my hope that this concept resonates with you in someway. May you be inspired to notice how you navigate through your life. Have you ever born witness to yourself as you moved through a difficult situation, as you celebrated a great joy, or as you observed yourself in communication with another? Do you show up just enough to get by, or are you expressing your authentic nature? What edges would you like to explore in your body, in your spirit, in your mind? It is my hope that you feel the support, the light and love of Spirit as you curiously explore!
May you sweetly seek