“A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That’s how awful the loss is.”
~Jay Neugeboren
~Jay Neugeboren
As we approach October 15, I am again reminded that this month is designated Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. President Ronald Regan named the entire month back in October 1988 as a month of Remembrance. Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day is a day of remembrance for pregnancy loss and infant death, which includes, however is not limited to, miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, and the death of a newborn.
October 15 is observed annually in Canada, United States, United Kingdom, Australian States of Western Australia, New South Wales and in Italy.
I am not a mother, but I have been able to love some incredible hearts in my life who have lost babies due to pregnancy loss and infant death. This time in their life was horrific, and full of confusion. Why them? Why now? At these times, words seem incomprehensible. How do you even begin to fumble around with words when the tragedy of loss has just occurred?
In my training with The Grief Recovery Method, we learned early on that as a society we scramble for just the 'right' thing to say and often we end up causing more harm than good. We try to intellectualize this raw emotion. I know throughout my life I have used some of these chilling phrases with the best of intentions, but now I shy away from them. Some of the phrases are, "They are in a better place. You'll get over it. Why don't you get a puppy?, You're young, you can start again. etc."
The Grief Recovery Method reminds grievers that, "We are not going to tell you how you feel. You already know that. And, we will not tell you, 'We know how you feel,' because we don't. Neither does anybody else. At best, we remember how we felt when our losses occurred."
On October 15 at 7pm the world will light a candle in remembrance of the infants whose lives were lost. It is my prayer that families who have experienced loss will feel a tremendous surge of love and grace in their lives. May we join together and honor those families.
May You Sweetly Seek:)
In Gratitude,
Sarah
October 15 is observed annually in Canada, United States, United Kingdom, Australian States of Western Australia, New South Wales and in Italy.
I am not a mother, but I have been able to love some incredible hearts in my life who have lost babies due to pregnancy loss and infant death. This time in their life was horrific, and full of confusion. Why them? Why now? At these times, words seem incomprehensible. How do you even begin to fumble around with words when the tragedy of loss has just occurred?
In my training with The Grief Recovery Method, we learned early on that as a society we scramble for just the 'right' thing to say and often we end up causing more harm than good. We try to intellectualize this raw emotion. I know throughout my life I have used some of these chilling phrases with the best of intentions, but now I shy away from them. Some of the phrases are, "They are in a better place. You'll get over it. Why don't you get a puppy?, You're young, you can start again. etc."
The Grief Recovery Method reminds grievers that, "We are not going to tell you how you feel. You already know that. And, we will not tell you, 'We know how you feel,' because we don't. Neither does anybody else. At best, we remember how we felt when our losses occurred."
On October 15 at 7pm the world will light a candle in remembrance of the infants whose lives were lost. It is my prayer that families who have experienced loss will feel a tremendous surge of love and grace in their lives. May we join together and honor those families.
May You Sweetly Seek:)
In Gratitude,
Sarah
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