So that you can incorporate this observance in your life, begin to settle into the notion that we are often identified with our emotions and irrational thinking patterns. Have you ever said to yourself, "I'm such a awful person because of ...." or "I'll never be good enough to accomplish..." When we get lost in a tug of war with our emotions or our irrational thoughts we begin to lose the perspective of the present moment. As we identify our 'emotional' self as the 'Self' we begin to define ourselves in terms of the changeable moments of our lives.
The 'true essence' is unchangeable. Patanjali's Yoga Sutura reminds us, "To one established in truthfulness, actions and their results become subservient." When we can become more truthful with ourselves and others, we are able to deepen our relationships and cultivate them based on honesty rather than fear.
I was recently talking with a friend and she expressed that everything in her body and heart was telling her to end a relationship, but she didn't want to 'hurt' the other person. As she shared the story with me, she began to become so identified with ways that she could be dishonest that she lost sight of her 'true nature.' I asked her to sit with me and instead of plotting, scheming, or strategizing, I asked her to touch her heart and speak from this space instead of her head running the show. She began to cry as she realized that she had created this perfectly crafted story about this relationship, none of which was truly happening. In this story she was a girl that needed someone else to love her. She wanted to look a certain way so that her family would be proud of her. She wanted her life to seem perfect from every angle. But at the end of the story she was miserable and was making her partner miserable as well.
Nobody said that honesty is always our first nature, but as the Dali Lama teaches, "Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. If you can't help them, at least don't harm them." Lets put on our blanket of compassion and come back to this moment; "How can you be more truthful with yourself in this moment?" And then the next, and the next, and the next.
I invite you to come back to your true nature, that which is not changeable. Step into the integrity of your being. Deborah Adele reminds us there is a difference between being 'nice' vs. 'real.'
May You Sweetly Seek:)