This gift was recently shared with me by one of my mentors and teachers. As I sat facing Diane, I found myself searching for a question to ask her and as I found my words, I whispered to her, "How can I heal this relationship?" She closed her eyes and began her channel from Spirit. "Awe sweetie, this isn't about you healing this relationship, this is about you healing yourself." I felt the tears sting my eyes as I felt somewhat relieved. It really isn't about the 'other.' It is about us having a willingness to do our own work and heal the dark parts of our hearts. We all have them, the dark and the light. She continued, "Everything that you are looking for them to validate within you, you need to validate for yourself. If you want them to be proud of you, you need to be proud of yourself. Love yourself sweetie, because it isn't about them loving you. Do you understand?" Her eyes opened and she looked at me lovingly. "Keep your heart open, keep the love flowing, and always love yourself." I felt within my beingness an energetic shift. A sigh from my spirit. An exhale of release.
Who hasn't been in relationship to another where it becomes easier to point the finger and say, "You need to change," or "I thought you were going to be this way?" This work keeps teaching me that my reaction to another is where my work lies. As long as I expereince this reaction, I know I have work to do. Perhaps it is healing old belief systems, changing old conclusions, healing shame, guilt and anger. As I hold the memory of my time with Diane in my heart, I know where my work lies and I also know that this is the greatest gift I can offer myself. Everything that I am looking for another to give me, I must give myself.
As I look around my apartment at the gifts under the tree and the wrapping paper decorating my floor, I am reminded that some presents just can't be wrapped. Experiencing the self full of love will be one of my favorite presents this year. I know that this is a lifelong journey, but as I offer this present to myself, I also offer those around me the opportunity to do the same. As Ghandi reminds us, "Be the change you wish to see."
Keep your heart open.
Keep the love flowing.
And always love yourselves....
May You Sweetly Seek:)