As I sat with this sensation in meditation I could feel its message coming through loud and clear. My mind and my heart were in misalignment with one another. This deep physical ache came from a psychological ache, a desire for things to be other than they were. Its easy to talk about those moments where we feel fully engaged, but what if we also talked about those moments of our suffering? Those moments that catch our attention offer us deep medicine. My suffering was arising from the essence of Stephen Cope's quote; wanting things, myself, the world and others to be different than they are.
I sat in silence and allowed the emotions to arise. At this point in my practice, the story doesn't matter as much as experiencing and expressing the emotions. I let the tears glide down my cheeks like a lazy river. My chest quivered with grief. My belly churned with anger. My body felt enraged. I brought a hand to my heart and gently touched this deep desire for things to be different. As soon as I acknowledged this space, I felt a breeze of softness settle around me.
One of my teachers who I am infinitely grateful for recently shared that when we get into our 'victim' energy, (which we all possess throughout our journey) we don't often have the ability to realize our inner resources. His advice is always:
~Name it and claim it.
~If I'm in my suffering self (whatever self shows us), I can chose to get myself out.
So as I sat in this space of my suffering self, I named it and realized the way out was through. I allowed it to come to me instead of resisting and pushing against it. I sat with it. I expressed it. And then I dance partied it!!! I put on some Michael Franti and got up and danced. On my way through my self imposed suffering I remembered that JOY was on the other side.
When we get stuck or start blaming others around us we forget our divine inner resources. Lets start talking to one another about 'naming and claiming it' so that we can own our stories through our practices of living.
May You Sweetly Seek:)